Ninja by day, student by night

So, give or take, I am in the first week of my second trimester. I am actually very happy we made it this far, it seems like I’ve been hiding this secret for such a long time. I’m glad the secret-keeping will be pretty much done. Well, except for the middle name. I still think I’m going to have a boy, despite the Chinese gender chart.

No changes in weight, but I have been craving fruit and yogurt, which isn’t very different, but I’m also sneaking in some Doritos at lunch, they taste so cheesy and salty good. Not every day though. I really don’t pack enough lunch for myself, and then I get hungry for savory snacks, because I get plenty of sugar through my fruit, my yogurt and my snack bar.

I need to remember to call the prenatal place to get my numbers, they didn’t call on Friday.

Gus was in a strange mood this weekend, he was in a cleaning frenzy! We have been getting behind on chores, so he put his foot down and said we needed to catch up. In my opinion, I think he needs to keep up on his own regular chores before we start worrying about the bi-weekly chores, but I do understand how he feels, being in a dirty house is no good. I’m not sure what all I am supposed to do though, since he doesn’t want me around chemicals.

It took some arguing over miscommunication to help us get through it and figure out what needed to be done. This week I will work on the computer room and get it organized, clean and tidy. I’d also like to dust as well and maybe get the mirrors clean. We still need to change the linens as well, I haven’t been good about changing them every week. I also think I should put more rags near the kitchen so I can clean up after I cook something, that will make the counter and range look better as well. Spring cleaning, here we come!

Thursday we are going to the inlaw’s home, we need to help out with the kitchen duties, hopefully it won’t smell too bad. We plan to tell the in-laws on Friday, since his sister will visit, and hopefully we’ll have time to go eat with my brother and tell him in person as well. I also messaged my mom on facebook and asked her if we could visit on Sunday. If not, I’ll just call her on Friday after we tell his parents. I think it’s a good plan.

There is also good news, I haven’t had any bleeding from anything in the past week, so hopefully that will be it for a while. I’ve been feeling tired again, but I think I just need to exercise. I’ve been trying to listen to more music, watch more cheerful tv and try to read fun stuff like slice-of-life manga and books that make me feel happy.

I want to smile more so that the baby will feel happy too. I haven’t felt any baby movements yet, or any “hardness” in my belly, so I guess I’ll be one of those girls who don’t show for a while (except for the chubby 7 lbs I gained). Still, I have’t gained weight, but my muscles need exercise, I can tell. This week I plan to go outside and walk, the fresh air will do me good after sitting in a stuffy office for 8 hours.

Ever since we got married, Gus’ relatives have been hinting that they wanted a baby for the family, and in December, when I graduated from college, I told everyone that we were ready to try for a baby.

Now you know that by that point we had already tried and on the first try, I got pregnant. So over time, I’ve been going to doctor appointments, and sometimes we would have to tell them because I’d have to stay home instead of going to Seattle on a family visit with Gus. We weren’t sure about if they knew I was pregnant, because for one, I puffed up like a blowfish, gaining 7 lbs in my first 2 months of pregnancy, which was mostly bloat (I hope). So most of my Indian suits didn’t fit me correctly, and I was in a pickle when I came to visit. Still, I wore baggy clothing, and moaned about how I gained too much weight over the holidays.

During that time, Gus’ mom told us that they would be very happy if they got a grandchild soon, and that we should think about having one. It was very hard not to tell them, but Gus was insistent that we wait until the percentages were on our side, which in his eyes was at the end of the first trimester. So now we are in Week 12, and we bought a cute card to tell them the news. We are planning to share the good news next week when we go to help at the ghurdwara for Gus’ uncle’s funeral prayer.

But that’s not the funny part. A few days ago, Gus’ mom called Gus to talk to him about my doctor’s visit. For some reason, she has the idea that we are having troubles conceiving, and so she wanted to share her knowledge about anatomy and midwife experience (since she was a nurse in India). She told Gus that he shouldn’t worry, that maybe things were taking longer because I might have fibroids, which could make conception more difficult, but that they do go away and everything would go okay. Then she reassured him that it just takes time and other comforting advice. Then his sister got on the phone, and told him that it takes time and that she had fibroids and sometimes they mean that a woman has to get a c-section, but typically they go away so not to worry. I’m not sure how Gus managed to keep his voice steady, but it was a good thing they didn’t talk to me or I would have spilled the beans by sounding weird (because I was trying not to laugh). Anyway, we had a good laugh at their experience, but tbh, it was so sweet in a way that they wanted to make him feel better, I kinda felt bad that we couldn’t tell them right away so they wouldn’t worry. Still, I love that they have no clue, bwahaha, they will be so surprised!

On Tuesday, I had my prenatal screening, which would give us a guess-timate of our chances of having a Down’s Syndrome baby. Now you might wonder why this would be important, since neither of our families have had that issue in the past. Well, it’s because I’m getting old.

Evidently after 35, women who are TTC (trying to conceive) are at a higher risk than younger women, so they recommend that women consider getting these tests to see if their baby is at risk. I felt that since we were already at a disadvantage marriage-wise, because if our kids didn’t turn out okay, people might take it as a bad omen or that Gus shouldn’t have married out of the culture, and superstitious stuff related to me not wearing that ring. So we agreed it would be good to take some initial precautions to see how things are cooking.

We had to wait until 12 weeks though, so this week, we were planning to go together, but his uncle on his dad’s side passed away, and he needed to be out of town during my appointment. I was sad that the timing wasn’t working out for us, but there really wasn’t another way.

So I went, and it was amazing. They did an intensive ultrasound with a high-end machine. It was really detailed and I got to see the baby in regular and 3-D style, which was super-fun. He (I actually don’t know the sex) was floating around and doing his thing while I looked on. His head was really big, which was really funny to me for some reason. I knew that it would be like that though. What was really funny was seeing him in the 3-D view, because he had his legs crossed, his hands were up by his eyes in pseudo peace signs, and his lips were huge, so it looked like he was doing a “nyah” face at the camera. I started laughing and then he started getting really active after that. The lady was trying to get measurements of him and it was so funny because he was zipping around, not staying in one place so she could take a clear photo. She finally tapped me on the belly a few times and he calmed down a bit. What a chiflado, I thought to myself, and tried not to laugh anymore. Still, he wasn’t having it, and it took a lot of tries before she could get the rest of his measurements.

They measured everything! Arm, leg, spine, head, total length, placenta, ovaries, the whole deal. They even found some fibroids, which I guess are typical for pregnant women to get, but I did have a very small one behind my placenta in the uterine wall. That one could cause issues if it gets bigger, but the doctor did say that most fibroids get absorbed, so he’s hoping that it will do that for me, and not cause any complications. In total, I think I had four fibroids of varying sizes, but only that one was an issue because of where it was. According to the ultrasound technician, my placenta is placed to the back and top of my uterus, which is fine. I read about some placentas that attach near the bottom and then there’s issues with bleeding and other complications, so I am glad everything got stuck where it needed to be.

Lastly, I had a consultation with the doctor, and he told me that the baby didn’t have any of the markers of Down’s Syndrome, or the spinal issues that I think are signs of spinal bifida, but don’t quote me. What I learned is that Down’s Syndrome babies are missing a nose bone, and have a thickened spinal cord, and our baby didn’t have either one. That made me feel really good, so I decided to continue with our plan, which was to get the blood prick test to check our statistics, and that would be it for us. I was satisfied with the results, and while I waited, I texted Gus, and he agreed that we were good with the results we got.

We should get the blood prick test results by Friday, or Monday at the latest. I also got seven new photos of the baby, and started making an album of the prenatal pictures. I will need to print some of the pictures, like the pregnancy test and later I might print out some pictures of my belly once it becomes a real belly and not a gassy bloated tummy.

It really feels good to have some relief from the worry. I want to be less stressed out, but it’s hard for me to stay on an even keel. I will try harder though so I can be a good role model for others (not just the baby).

In other news, my bleeding issues seem to be clearing up, and I’ve figured out how to avoid nausea; teeny small meals! Now to get in some exercise so my thighs will stop being so jiggly.

I almost forgot to write about my OB appointment, it was almost lackluster, but we did get to hear the heartbeat.  If  I remember correctly, the little bean is stuck on my right side, and he has a good heartbeat, around 140 bpm.  It was very exciting to hear it, especially since my little spotting incident on NY’s.  Very scary, but good to hear that the little one is okay.

So yesterday I did a pee test, and today I did one in the morning, we got ourselves a faint double line! Gus isn’t completely sure I’m pregnant though, he’s totally playing it cool.  Me, I can barely handle myself.  I don’t think he’ll be convinced until I have a dark double line.  In any case, my boobs aren’t going nuts anymore, but I’m drinking plenty of water, eating frequent, small meals because I feel hungry all the time.  Gosh I feel like a pig, an obsessive, pee-testing pig.

I think I’m going to calm down, I bought some extra pregnancy tests at the $Store, just to keep myself on track.  I really, really want to buy the Mayo Clinic book but I don’t want to jump and then have a miscarriage or even my period.  I just wish I had someone to talk to about this, someone who gets excited and happy for me.  It’s a little lonely since I don’t dare ask anyone I know because I’m afraid they will blab and secondly, I don’t know anyone well enough that they would be happy for me.  That’s all I want today.

I also noticed I’m getting really emotional today, which doesn’t bode well for the next few days.   Honestly, right now I want to sleep, all I did was study, go to class, take a test, read a Men’s Pregnancy Guide and get groceries, I feel like I’m gonna pass out!  What a wimp! Sheesh.

If I had it my way, I’d talk to my brother, tell my MIL and FIL, and that’s it.  Holding a secret is hard, and I feel so happy about it!  At the same time, I worry about getting a job, who will hire a pregnant chick?  And if I don’t mention it, will they get rid of me?  I guess I was being a little selfish by wanting to start this month, but I don’t want to deny the good grace that allowed us to make a child so easily.  Nothing will be the same, but that’s okay.

I’m happy.