Ninja by day, student by night

This past week we have been staying at the Grapevine Inn in Sunnyside, WA, and today is our last day here.  I’m waiting for Gus to show up so we can pack up and get out of here, because the checkout time is 11 a.m. and even with late check-out, it is getting a little bit too late.  The people who work there are actually very accomodating to Gus’ schedule, but I hate to put them out, or at least not do it so often that they might resent it.

Still, it helps a lot since Gus has the car and I can’t really leave the little one alone.  She’s sleeping right now, which is nice because it gave me time to corral all our luggage and worldly goods into the front room.  Sometimes I wonder how long I will be able to swaddle her for her naps and bedtime.  It works very well but I know at some point she will need to learn how to sleep without it.  If she’s not too fussy I try to swaddle her loosely so she can break out of it at some point, and then she ends up sleeping like a biology frog, it’s really cute.  But for now, it’s swaddling and her sherpa blankie on her legs or she’ll keep waking up and fussing.

Last night she was really fussy after her bath.  We figured out that the hotel towels were too scratchy so I brought her duck-patterned towel and that was much better, no screeching or wailing.  Still, she had a fit as I rubbed in the heavy cream we have to use to keep her skin somewhat hydrated.   She kept letting out these ear-piercing shrieks and Gus was wondering why she was making such a ruckus, as opposed to crying.  I read on babycenter that other moms were having similar issues right around this time because the babies got their 2-month shots and learned how to shriek, so now they were using their new skills.  Ugh.

I also learned that Selina would be losing some of her baby hair, so I got all worried because even though she has some wacky cowlicks on her head, she has a nice full head of hair.  Then I learned it was mostly focused in the areas that get rubbed when she sleeps.  Most babies have it on the back of their heads, but Selina likes to sleep with her head turned to my right, so she has a thin spot there.  Luckily she has a ton of hair so it’s easy to hide with some strategic combing.  Now if I could only figure out how to deal with her hair on the crown of her head.  It has a natural poof so it sticks up and makes her head look cone-shaped, and the back likes to stick up as well.  I think I need to invest in some baby elastics so I can put the offending hair in a baby ponytail on top, similar to Pebbles from the Flintstones.

Speaking of hair, I need a haircut, especially since my hair has hit that point where it is shedding regularly again (which for me is a lot).  I hate getting my hair cut though, they always cut too much off and it’s pretty long for me, so I kinda want to keep it that way.  Still, it’s time to bite the bullet, it’s getting dry on the ends and that never feels nice.

So what I want to know, is how to keep a stylist from cutting too much off?  They always cut too much, and it pisses me off.

Enough about my hair.  Makes me feel grumpy just writing about it.   I think today I will consider my to-do list for the coming weekend/week.

• Laundry
• Unemployment paperwork
• Make appointment for ear piercing
• Select photos for printing (India)
• Select photos for album (Selina)
• Select photos for baby room
• print
• put into frames
• Put away winter clothes
• Pack up summer clothing
• Pack up maternity clothing

Just a quickie, because I didn’t want to spam my facebook page, but dayum! Today I am 37 weeks along, with only 3 more weeks to go. I am amazed at my progress (or lack of) and I’m actually starting to feel all the weird aches and pains that the end of pregnancy brings to the body.

It isn’t that I’m in all this pain, because I’m not, my list of woes are small and that makes me happy.

So here’s the list:

• swollen right foot
• painful toe (only the one next to my pinky toe – weird, yes yes?)
• occasional lightning crotch
• backache when I am working for long periods of time
• heartburn (still)
• tired (I get worn out so easily!)
• alien baby
• Braxton-Hicks (when I overdo things and now lately, at random when I’m lying down)

And that’s it! I think that’s pretty good really. The getting swollen part sucks the most out of all of them, so I’m trying to drink more water and stay off my feet because it feels like it makes it worse.

After reading my BabyCenter group’s posts yesterday, I realized that I need to pack a bag for the hospital and get the baby’s things ready. I’ve been procrastinating on this because of work, and because I didn’t really feel I was going to have a baby soon.

Most of the women on the forums are dying to be done already, but I’m doing everything I can to make sure she STAYS IN. Not that I have that much of a say in things, but I’m being careful not to lift anything heavy, been staying home, getting sleep when I need it, and trying to stay stress-free.  I want her to reach full-term, especially since I’m relatively comfortable and don’t feel like there is any need to hurry things along.

I guess I’m getting a little worried because I’m starting to get more Braxton-Hicks (BH) at random, and I reallllly want her to be a Leo so I’m hoping she’ll stick until the 23rd. Overall though, even though she’s starting to really go nuts with her kicking, I think she’s comfy in there and hasn’t given me any signs that she’s ready to go.

My OB has been reminding me every time of the signs of labor, and I also read up on what to expect. I know that at some point I will lose my mucus plug, and that will be one of the first indications that somewhere in the near future I will go into labor.

I am seriously behind on my Hypnobabies, and I need to remind myself to get all those mp3′s set up so I can listen to them on the player. We also need to set up the pack ‘n play, it has a bassinet feature in it that I want to use in the beginning. The car seat also needs to be set up in the van and we need to practice using it.

Other than that, I think we are good, except we need diapers and some things for me that will help with the postpartum issues that come with having a baby. I also want to buy a robe at some point, but tbh, we are tight on money this month because of all the purchases and also because Gus went to Lupe’s bachelor party in Las Vegas. I also would like to buy a baby carrier but I am going to wait until she is born to buy that item, so I can try it out with her in it.

I better get back to work now, I think I rested long enough. I have so much laundry to do because Gus is back from his work and fun related trips, not to mention that I want to relax the rest of my hair.  I also need to write out my thank-you notes for my 2nd baby shower.

If you are reading this, send me some “stay baking” wishes to the little one so she will be good and let me have some time to myself before she shows up.

Indoor Kitty (aka billy in Punjabi) is sitting next to me, glad that I’m home and that I have taken the time to pet her this morning. Lately Gus and I have been going to Sunnyside (and Prosser) for work-related travel at least once a week. It’s been fun in some ways because we get to have some much-needed one-on-one time and it also gets me out of the house. We both get a little taste of sunshine and we keep in touch with our eastern Washington work colleagues, friends and family.

Still, it keeps us busy since the drive is approximately 4 hours one way with bathroom and snack breaks. It isn’t too bad because we take turns driving, Gus naps while I drive and when he wakes up, then we switch. Gus seems to think that once I get to 8 months, I won’t want to drive anymore, and maybe he’s right, but at this point I’m still optimistic that I’ll be traveling and getting about like my normal routine.

It isn’t that I am not getting the aches and pains of pregnancy, because I am, but I really dislike the idea that I can’t do the same things I did before I got to the third trimester. I’m really annoyed that I can’t help paint the baby’s room, move boxes and in general do what I normally do without feeling like my uterus is going to fall out. (haha?) I’m not complaining though, I know I’m having a relatively lightweight pregnancy, and I don’t want to jinx myself.

At this point I’m seven months along, which means I have 2 months to go. Mentally I know there’s a baby inside me, she’s kicking a lot on a regular basis, and has a regular routine of squirming, tapping and whacking at my insides throughout the day. Sometimes she gives me weird heart palpitations, which I blame on her, I assume that she’s leaning on some important artery or she’s pushing up on the top of my uterus, thereby squashing the rest of my internal organs into the important ones. Who knows, the doctor doesn’t seem to have any ideas either. This also typically gives me heartburn, but I have it under a modicum of control thanks to my prescription.

My latest symptoms are now the restless leg bit, and some symptoms that only occur when I sit down, such as a sore back and pubic bone. The twitchy, achy leg issue is somewhat easy to manage, I just do some stretches on my legs, and typically if I remember to stretch in the morning or do some leg lifts in the morning, they don’t bother me as much during the day.

Those are my physical symptoms in a nutshell, but the focus is on mental health today. The sun helps a lot, I’ve noticed. I was feeling pretty sad because of my hormones, and it was very hard for me to deal with it because I didn’t have my normal escapist methods available. I think the worst part of being pregnant is not feeling like yourself, and not being able to do normal activities. I miss organizing my stuff, it’s hard to have to wait for Gus to move boxes for me, and I haven’t been able to find my painting supplies or some of my entertainment because they are stuck in boxes somewhere in the garage. Still, I’m doing a lot better, I’ve tried to cook more and that makes me feel good inside, plus I get to eat tasty food that I know how to make. I would eat what my MIL makes but she doesn’t know how to make non-spicy food so it’s up to me to make my own meals. Last night I made fajitas, and earlier in the week I had ravioli mixed with spinach and pesto, minestrone soup with salad and a side of rosemary bread. I haven’t eaten that well when we travel, which is a shame, but it can’t be helped at this point. I wish they had a kitchenette so I could cook, it would be nice to have access to an oven, but then again, I’d probably skip work to make some intricate baking experiment.

So overall I’m doing better, I’ve been playing with the baby by rubbing the areas where she kicks/taps me and enjoying her respond back by kicking or tapping back. She’s not always responsive, but it’s really fun when she is, it’s like she’s a real person, instead of a little blob or an alien growing inside of me.

Gus and I have had some really good conversations about how we want to bring up this little one, and at this point Gus seems to be the strict one and I’m the lenient one. I have a feeling that he’ll be the softie though and I’ll end up getting all strict on her instead. The funny part is that Gus doesn’t really say much about the baby, but one thing I’ve learned is that even though he doesn’t ask about her very often, it isn’t that he isn’t interested, it’s just that he expects me to tell him what’s going on. He’s taking part by doing the physical work that needs to be done, such as getting the baby’s room ready, researching what we need, etc. He’s always really great about listening to the baby’s weekly growth email and is never too busy to listen to me talk about what the baby is up to inside of me.

I think he’s going to be a great dad, I just have to make sure he doesn’t get so nervous that he doesn’t interact enough with her on a daily basis. But who knows, maybe he won’t be nervous, heaven knows I’ll be nervous enough for both of us.

For me, the preparations for having a baby are starting to get closer and it’s hard to imagine that I only have another 2 months to go. The past few months have gone by so quickly! I dislike that I have gained as much weight as I have, but that’s my own fault for not getting my prenatal video right away and exercising regularly. Still, I’m only a little beyond the healthy range so I think I’m doing pretty well for just managing my diet. There’s a lot to do still, I haven’t registered anywhere and with the new regulations coming out for cribs, I think we are going to wait on buying a crib until it gets closer. But that won’t stop us from getting everything else ready, I am dying to tackle the garage. I also need to finish my project at work, soon as I get that done I can take a little break and start working half-time.

Well, I think I completed a small part of my personal goal this week, which is to write about my experiences as first-time pregnant woman. I’m sleepy now though, I think I will try to take a little nap and then get working on real work. Ideally I’d also like to hit up Target to start a registry, and go to the stores to buy some shirts, my belly sticks out so much that my normal shirts are riding up too high and showing off my maternity panel on my jeans. Bras would be nice too, but those are harder to find so no big hopes there.

So in case you didn’t know, we are moving back to Western Washington. We are doing the traditional Punjabi/Sikh tradition (it may also be the same for the rest of the Indian community) of staying with the inlaws for a spell before we move into our own place. From what I have learned, the reason why this tradition prevails is because it helps the new daughter-in-law bond with her new family, and also gives the mother-in-law an opportunity to teach family traditions, recipes and other information that will help her be a good wife to her husband. Basically I’ll learn my husband’s favorite foods, how to make them, and that sort of important information. I already know how to cook pretty well, but I only know how to make a few Indian recipes by myself, and I know they could use some practice to get better with that genre.

It’s been really busy at home because we are preparing to get rid of ‘junk’ and unnecessary items that we don’t need (like old clothing and knick-knacks). It’s actually something I like doing twice a year, but I didn’t do it last fall because I wasn’t feeling well and I was graduating from college in December. So I’m a little behind, but I did manage to get rid of 3 bags of clothing from my closet, and 3 bags from Gus’ home closet. There’s still a lot to whittle down, but I am excited to narrow down my material possessions to the essentials. Most of our things will be in storage so that when we get our own place, we won’t have to rebuy or separate our things from his parent’s possessions. Some items are going to be nearby though, because I want to have fun things to do, so my craft/paint box is essential, as well as my multiple gaming systems and monstrous makeup collection. Most things though, will need to be put away because there just isn’t enough room!

Most people I know, like my boss, family, etc. are a little worried that living with my in-laws will cause strain in our new marriage. I think that could be true in some ways, because having your kids live at home (when they haven’t for a while) is difficult for both parents and kids. I will have new rules to learn, and I will miss some of the freedom I had when we lived on our own. I am also used to living in a peaceful, quiet home, and a Punjabi home life is more active than the average household, so that will be something I will need to get used to, but I also hope that having a daughter-in-law that works on maintaining a stress-free home for her husband is a benefit too, because Gus will be able to work hard and be able to relax when he gets home. He is my priority, after all.

I know that the visit isn’t forever, and overall my in-laws are pretty nice to me, and don’t get mad at me when I make mistakes. This to me is probably the most important part for me. I’m definitely a person who does better with positive reinforcement, negativity tends to discourage me and make me feel like my efforts aren’t worth it.

The one thing I will miss the most (other than what I mentioned before) is one of my favorite hobbies, baking. We don’t have a working oven at the in-law’s house, so no more random baking. They do have a convection oven which is okay for cookies, but is a spectacular FAIL with pies (and I assume other baked goods). I know this because I tried to make my traditional apple pie in it for X-mas and it was awful because it didn’t cook all the way through. I was so embarrassed. Still, I can make cookies, so I won’t be completely bereft of my baking obsession.

I’m not sure how long we will stay at our in-laws, it depends on their health, and whether we are able to save enough to start our own household. Still, it will be nice to enjoy Seattle’s activities and weather this year, I’m pretty sure I will appreciate the mild summer weather this year. Let’s hope that things go well, that our family will have a better year and that we will be able to get on our feet as a family.

Tomorrow I am going to spend time with my mom and learn how to clip my roses for spring! I plan to make a little movie out of it so I can show Gus too, if it turns out well, I will post it here.

Last week (early weekend + Monday) was a super busy one for our family. After my doctor’s appointment, I talked to Gus and he felt it was it a good time for us to share our good news to our close family members. I was very glad about this because it meant that I wouldn’t have to wear baggy clothing and pretend I was “sick” when I didn’t feel well or wanted to take a nap. That also meant I could share my good news with my family as well, so we had to make plans with my brother and my mom (without spilling the beans).

Last Thursday we made a last-minute change to visit my mom that evening, instead of Monday night, because Gus needed to stay in Seattle for an important meeting about our move.

We ended up eating at Famous Dave’s (the bbq restaurant) after picking up my mom. After selecting our drinks and dinner choices, Gus gave me the nod. I was really nervous, so I ended up saying, “We have some exciting news, Gus got his transfer to Seattle!” We ended up talking about that for a bit and then I said, “I also have some good news, we have some wedding photos to show you!” I handed her the photo album and then she opened it, looked at the ultrasound picture, slammed it shut, and looked at me with an incredulous expression. She then said, “Cynthia???? You are pregnant?” And when I said yes, she hugged me and got all excited for me. It was a really great feeling, tbh. I’ve never had her be so pleased with me before, not even when I got into college, or when I got married. I guess making a baby is out of the ordinary, isn’t it? Anyway, I reopened the photo album and showed her the rest of the pictures, she was very amazed and a little teary-eyed. I was really happy about being able to tell her, next up was my in-laws!

So, give or take, I am in the first week of my second trimester. I am actually very happy we made it this far, it seems like I’ve been hiding this secret for such a long time. I’m glad the secret-keeping will be pretty much done. Well, except for the middle name. I still think I’m going to have a boy, despite the Chinese gender chart.

No changes in weight, but I have been craving fruit and yogurt, which isn’t very different, but I’m also sneaking in some Doritos at lunch, they taste so cheesy and salty good. Not every day though. I really don’t pack enough lunch for myself, and then I get hungry for savory snacks, because I get plenty of sugar through my fruit, my yogurt and my snack bar.

I need to remember to call the prenatal place to get my numbers, they didn’t call on Friday.

Gus was in a strange mood this weekend, he was in a cleaning frenzy! We have been getting behind on chores, so he put his foot down and said we needed to catch up. In my opinion, I think he needs to keep up on his own regular chores before we start worrying about the bi-weekly chores, but I do understand how he feels, being in a dirty house is no good. I’m not sure what all I am supposed to do though, since he doesn’t want me around chemicals.

It took some arguing over miscommunication to help us get through it and figure out what needed to be done. This week I will work on the computer room and get it organized, clean and tidy. I’d also like to dust as well and maybe get the mirrors clean. We still need to change the linens as well, I haven’t been good about changing them every week. I also think I should put more rags near the kitchen so I can clean up after I cook something, that will make the counter and range look better as well. Spring cleaning, here we come!

Thursday we are going to the inlaw’s home, we need to help out with the kitchen duties, hopefully it won’t smell too bad. We plan to tell the in-laws on Friday, since his sister will visit, and hopefully we’ll have time to go eat with my brother and tell him in person as well. I also messaged my mom on facebook and asked her if we could visit on Sunday. If not, I’ll just call her on Friday after we tell his parents. I think it’s a good plan.

There is also good news, I haven’t had any bleeding from anything in the past week, so hopefully that will be it for a while. I’ve been feeling tired again, but I think I just need to exercise. I’ve been trying to listen to more music, watch more cheerful tv and try to read fun stuff like slice-of-life manga and books that make me feel happy.

I want to smile more so that the baby will feel happy too. I haven’t felt any baby movements yet, or any “hardness” in my belly, so I guess I’ll be one of those girls who don’t show for a while (except for the chubby 7 lbs I gained). Still, I have’t gained weight, but my muscles need exercise, I can tell. This week I plan to go outside and walk, the fresh air will do me good after sitting in a stuffy office for 8 hours.

Ever since we got married, Gus’ relatives have been hinting that they wanted a baby for the family, and in December, when I graduated from college, I told everyone that we were ready to try for a baby.

Now you know that by that point we had already tried and on the first try, I got pregnant. So over time, I’ve been going to doctor appointments, and sometimes we would have to tell them because I’d have to stay home instead of going to Seattle on a family visit with Gus. We weren’t sure about if they knew I was pregnant, because for one, I puffed up like a blowfish, gaining 7 lbs in my first 2 months of pregnancy, which was mostly bloat (I hope). So most of my Indian suits didn’t fit me correctly, and I was in a pickle when I came to visit. Still, I wore baggy clothing, and moaned about how I gained too much weight over the holidays.

During that time, Gus’ mom told us that they would be very happy if they got a grandchild soon, and that we should think about having one. It was very hard not to tell them, but Gus was insistent that we wait until the percentages were on our side, which in his eyes was at the end of the first trimester. So now we are in Week 12, and we bought a cute card to tell them the news. We are planning to share the good news next week when we go to help at the ghurdwara for Gus’ uncle’s funeral prayer.

But that’s not the funny part. A few days ago, Gus’ mom called Gus to talk to him about my doctor’s visit. For some reason, she has the idea that we are having troubles conceiving, and so she wanted to share her knowledge about anatomy and midwife experience (since she was a nurse in India). She told Gus that he shouldn’t worry, that maybe things were taking longer because I might have fibroids, which could make conception more difficult, but that they do go away and everything would go okay. Then she reassured him that it just takes time and other comforting advice. Then his sister got on the phone, and told him that it takes time and that she had fibroids and sometimes they mean that a woman has to get a c-section, but typically they go away so not to worry. I’m not sure how Gus managed to keep his voice steady, but it was a good thing they didn’t talk to me or I would have spilled the beans by sounding weird (because I was trying not to laugh). Anyway, we had a good laugh at their experience, but tbh, it was so sweet in a way that they wanted to make him feel better, I kinda felt bad that we couldn’t tell them right away so they wouldn’t worry. Still, I love that they have no clue, bwahaha, they will be so surprised!

On Tuesday, I had my prenatal screening, which would give us a guess-timate of our chances of having a Down’s Syndrome baby. Now you might wonder why this would be important, since neither of our families have had that issue in the past. Well, it’s because I’m getting old.

Evidently after 35, women who are TTC (trying to conceive) are at a higher risk than younger women, so they recommend that women consider getting these tests to see if their baby is at risk. I felt that since we were already at a disadvantage marriage-wise, because if our kids didn’t turn out okay, people might take it as a bad omen or that Gus shouldn’t have married out of the culture, and superstitious stuff related to me not wearing that ring. So we agreed it would be good to take some initial precautions to see how things are cooking.

We had to wait until 12 weeks though, so this week, we were planning to go together, but his uncle on his dad’s side passed away, and he needed to be out of town during my appointment. I was sad that the timing wasn’t working out for us, but there really wasn’t another way.

So I went, and it was amazing. They did an intensive ultrasound with a high-end machine. It was really detailed and I got to see the baby in regular and 3-D style, which was super-fun. He (I actually don’t know the sex) was floating around and doing his thing while I looked on. His head was really big, which was really funny to me for some reason. I knew that it would be like that though. What was really funny was seeing him in the 3-D view, because he had his legs crossed, his hands were up by his eyes in pseudo peace signs, and his lips were huge, so it looked like he was doing a “nyah” face at the camera. I started laughing and then he started getting really active after that. The lady was trying to get measurements of him and it was so funny because he was zipping around, not staying in one place so she could take a clear photo. She finally tapped me on the belly a few times and he calmed down a bit. What a chiflado, I thought to myself, and tried not to laugh anymore. Still, he wasn’t having it, and it took a lot of tries before she could get the rest of his measurements.

They measured everything! Arm, leg, spine, head, total length, placenta, ovaries, the whole deal. They even found some fibroids, which I guess are typical for pregnant women to get, but I did have a very small one behind my placenta in the uterine wall. That one could cause issues if it gets bigger, but the doctor did say that most fibroids get absorbed, so he’s hoping that it will do that for me, and not cause any complications. In total, I think I had four fibroids of varying sizes, but only that one was an issue because of where it was. According to the ultrasound technician, my placenta is placed to the back and top of my uterus, which is fine. I read about some placentas that attach near the bottom and then there’s issues with bleeding and other complications, so I am glad everything got stuck where it needed to be.

Lastly, I had a consultation with the doctor, and he told me that the baby didn’t have any of the markers of Down’s Syndrome, or the spinal issues that I think are signs of spinal bifida, but don’t quote me. What I learned is that Down’s Syndrome babies are missing a nose bone, and have a thickened spinal cord, and our baby didn’t have either one. That made me feel really good, so I decided to continue with our plan, which was to get the blood prick test to check our statistics, and that would be it for us. I was satisfied with the results, and while I waited, I texted Gus, and he agreed that we were good with the results we got.

We should get the blood prick test results by Friday, or Monday at the latest. I also got seven new photos of the baby, and started making an album of the prenatal pictures. I will need to print some of the pictures, like the pregnancy test and later I might print out some pictures of my belly once it becomes a real belly and not a gassy bloated tummy.

It really feels good to have some relief from the worry. I want to be less stressed out, but it’s hard for me to stay on an even keel. I will try harder though so I can be a good role model for others (not just the baby).

In other news, my bleeding issues seem to be clearing up, and I’ve figured out how to avoid nausea; teeny small meals! Now to get in some exercise so my thighs will stop being so jiggly.

According to PersonalDNA, that is.

I read through it, it seems pretty on the dot, I remember doing this quiz years ago, I should look it up and see if I have changed over the years.  In any case, self-reflection is a good thing to do, especially if you force yourself to be honest about your actions.  I think that’s the hardest part, pinning yourself down and not going with the best answer, but what you would really do.

I almost forgot to write about my OB appointment, it was almost lackluster, but we did get to hear the heartbeat.  If  I remember correctly, the little bean is stuck on my right side, and he has a good heartbeat, around 140 bpm.  It was very exciting to hear it, especially since my little spotting incident on NY’s.  Very scary, but good to hear that the little one is okay.