Monthly Archives: October 2011

Long Day

But it was fun too.  One of our friends from college came to visit us with his wife, his two-year-old daughter, and his 6 month old son.  It was pretty crazy with everyone going all over the place, but it was interesting to get another view of how life runs with two kids.  Some days must be crazy for our friends, but I think they are a happy family and the kids are really sweet.  The little boy is growing up so fast, he is almost walking and he seems to love little babies, he kept trying to touch and talk to Selina.  Unfortunately Selina had no idea what was going on and got upset when he’d try to talk to her.  My little girl, not so good with other little babies.

It was a little scary dealing with so many kids.  I told Gus I could handle it, and I still think I can, but I definitely think that it will take a lot more out of me than I thought.  I was so tired today, and it was one of those times where I told Gus that he needed to watch the baby, that I didn’t want to do anything.  And I didn’t.  I tried to watch a show and fell asleep instead.  I felt a little guilty because I had all these things I wanted to do, and didn’t get any of them done. And tomorrow I plan to eat lunch with a friend, but I am going to try to not feel guilty about that either.

I don’t remember if I mentioned that I am on unemployment, and have been trying to look for some side jobs, and out of the blue, my old work called, wanting me to do some temp work for a week.  And of course that meant that the unemployment office wanted me to come in on the same day I was going in for work, so now I have to call them on Monday and get it rescheduled for next week.  Not to mention that I haven’t gotten my costume together.  I have nothing prepared.  Selina’s costume needs fixing and Gus has his ready so we are good there, at least.

Anyway back to our friend’s visit.  Selina actually had fun playing with the other kid’s toys, and they had fun with her stuff because most of it was 6+ months.  She was smiling at everyone, but she had no idea what to do with the other baby.  She kept pouting and then crying every time he’d try to to communicate with her. Other than that, she was actually pretty good for the whole morning but we paid for it later.  She didn’t want to go to bed, had multiple temper tantrums, and had a lousy bath experience due to her tiredness.

It could have been worse, we were supposed to have a family dinner but it got cancelled so we didn’t have to get that done as well too.  My MIL was a bit peeved that she had prepped everything and it got cancelled, but at least she has food ready for the next few days, she can rest and not have to cook too much.  It’s a small silver lining, but it is something.

When it comes to my own silver linings, it is much harder to see them though.  I remember thinking that I get so resentful at times because I feel like I have to be the responsible one at all times.  I might not be as patient or disciplined at keeping my emotions in check, but I realized that I am disciplined when it comes to money and getting things done.

Some days I wonder if it is fair that I will deal with Selina when she is having a bad day, and other people can just hand her off to someone else when it gets too loud or difficult.  I get grumpy sometimes when Gus can hand the baby to his mom, or his parents can put her in the swing and let the machine deal with her, rather than learn to deal with her themselves.  When I think about it though, it isn’t a bad thing that they can do that, what is stopping me from handing her off and saying, “hey, I can’t handle it right now, please help me.”  I’m not sure, sometimes it feels like I need to take of these problems because it is my responsibility as a mother, and other times it feels like I’m doing it because I want to feel like I have the strength to overcome the issue, I won’t “give up” so easily.

I’m not sure if any of this is right or wrong, if I’m overthinking it or if I have a point.

I remember that people told us that having a baby can put a strain on a couple’s relationship, and I can see how it could happen.  Petty resentments build up, people have different expectations of what should happen, etc. and when it reaches a certain point, people can get really upset.  I don’t have any troubles talking to Gus about things, but I know I’m not the easiest person to deal with, especially when it comes to telling me that things aren’t going the way they should.   I am working on that.  But at least Gus and I have been together long enough that we can eventually figure out what needs to be done, even if it isn’t exactly the way we planned.

It isn’t easy though, being married has brought out so many complex relationships and problems that didn’t exist.  One of our friends was thinking of popping the question and Gus told him that if he wasn’t able to talk to his woman about tough issues, then it would only get worse once they got married.  I told our friend that he should think about how her and his families would play into their relationship, they can have a big influence on whether you will have additional problems due to personality conflicts and other related issues.

I hope he figures it out and can make a good decision for his life.  Makes me wonder what kinds of questions that Selina will ask me when she gets bigger, or when she becomes an adult.  I hope she will be able to come to me with the tough questions, not because I will always agree with her, but because she knows I will do my best to think about the issue and try to help her come to a conclusion that will help her make a good decision for her life.

Now I think I will either a) go take a nap or b) work on Selina’s costume

Waiting

This past week we have been staying at the Grapevine Inn in Sunnyside, WA, and today is our last day here.  I’m waiting for Gus to show up so we can pack up and get out of here, because the checkout time is 11 a.m. and even with late check-out, it is getting a little bit too late.  The people who work there are actually very accomodating to Gus’ schedule, but I hate to put them out, or at least not do it so often that they might resent it.

Still, it helps a lot since Gus has the car and I can’t really leave the little one alone.  She’s sleeping right now, which is nice because it gave me time to corral all our luggage and worldly goods into the front room.  Sometimes I wonder how long I will be able to swaddle her for her naps and bedtime.  It works very well but I know at some point she will need to learn how to sleep without it.  If she’s not too fussy I try to swaddle her loosely so she can break out of it at some point, and then she ends up sleeping like a biology frog, it’s really cute.  But for now, it’s swaddling and her sherpa blankie on her legs or she’ll keep waking up and fussing.

Last night she was really fussy after her bath.  We figured out that the hotel towels were too scratchy so I brought her duck-patterned towel and that was much better, no screeching or wailing.  Still, she had a fit as I rubbed in the heavy cream we have to use to keep her skin somewhat hydrated.   She kept letting out these ear-piercing shrieks and Gus was wondering why she was making such a ruckus, as opposed to crying.  I read on babycenter that other moms were having similar issues right around this time because the babies got their 2-month shots and learned how to shriek, so now they were using their new skills.  Ugh.

I also learned that Selina would be losing some of her baby hair, so I got all worried because even though she has some wacky cowlicks on her head, she has a nice full head of hair.  Then I learned it was mostly focused in the areas that get rubbed when she sleeps.  Most babies have it on the back of their heads, but Selina likes to sleep with her head turned to my right, so she has a thin spot there.  Luckily she has a ton of hair so it’s easy to hide with some strategic combing.  Now if I could only figure out how to deal with her hair on the crown of her head.  It has a natural poof so it sticks up and makes her head look cone-shaped, and the back likes to stick up as well.  I think I need to invest in some baby elastics so I can put the offending hair in a baby ponytail on top, similar to Pebbles from the Flintstones.

Speaking of hair, I need a haircut, especially since my hair has hit that point where it is shedding regularly again (which for me is a lot).  I hate getting my hair cut though, they always cut too much off and it’s pretty long for me, so I kinda want to keep it that way.  Still, it’s time to bite the bullet, it’s getting dry on the ends and that never feels nice.

So what I want to know, is how to keep a stylist from cutting too much off?  They always cut too much, and it pisses me off.

Enough about my hair.  Makes me feel grumpy just writing about it.   I think today I will consider my to-do list for the coming weekend/week.

  • Laundry
  • Unemployment paperwork
  • Make appointment for ear piercing
  • Select photos for printing (India)
  • Select photos for album (Selina)
  • Select photos for baby room
    • print
    • put into frames
  • Put away winter clothes
  • Pack up summer clothing
  • Pack up maternity clothing
Whew!

Selina’s Birth Story – At Home

I’ve been dying to share my thoughts about Selina’s birth, and how the passage of my impending labor was so different than what I expected.  I think in hindsight, there was some things I could have done better, and things that other people could have done better, but overall, I came home with a brand new baby girl.

The day of my induction was a series of errors and misunderstandings.  My doctor, a resident, told me the day before that I could show up for my induction anytime after 7:30 a.m.  So in my brain, I figured I could come in around noonish, which gave Gus time to go to work, and his family time to prepare for the wait.  At 7:00 a.m., the induction receptionist called and wanted to know why I wasn’t there yet.  I was still half-asleep, and said, “I’m sleeping!” and to my surprise, she said, “GET UP!”.  I was awake by then, and I already got stressed thinking that we were late and the nurse was very adamant that we get there by 8:30 a.m., which is impossible if you are working on Indian Standard Time.

Gus was a lot more calm than me, which made me feel better, I was already nervous about the induction and being late made me feel worse.  He told me to relax, and we got ready at our own pace, but that meant that we didn’t get there until 10:30 a.m. We ended up taking two cars, the van with my Mom, Gus and I, while Gus’ parents took their car and we met at Swedish First Hill.

Push!

Selina learned a new trick today, she learned how to “push”.  What I decided to do is make a game of her pushing her feet off of a solid object.  But to make it more fun for both of us, she pushes off of my hands as she is lying down.  So I’ve been encouraging her by saying, “Push!” and then when she pushes, I encourage her and praise her.  So now we are sort of in sync, although she gets tired after a bit.

No it isn’t tummy time, but at least she’s getting some exercise.

I did figure out a way to distract her while she’s doing tummy time.  She has one of those play mats with hanging doodads and on one end, it has a plastic mirror and a ball rattle.  So I folded it up so the mirror pointed up so she could see it, and then laid her over my leg, so she is effectively kneeling over my leg.  She’s got her head up, she’s busy looking at the mirror and the next thing you know, 5 minutes passed by.  Yeah it’s not that long, but it’s pretty good for her, she gets annoyed after 30 seconds, or at least it feels that way.

Yeah, I’m a weird mama.

Catching Up

I have been terrible about posting to this blog, mostly because being a mom has been such a life-changing experience for me.  I would have never said that being a mom was the best thing that has happened to me, but it is true in almost every respect.

I won’t lie, it isn’t easy for me, and sometimes I miss going to work, looking cute and having the freedom to come and go as I please.  But now I have a little companion that is always with me, wants me around and thinks I’m the best thing ever.  I hope that I will live up to her expectations, at least at this point I am.

Right now my little Sweet Pea is 10 weeks, I think…I’m really not good at keeping track of her lifespan, especially since it is so small.  So she’s over two months old, and she’s really starting to show her personality.  She is not a sweet child, but she has so much energy and alertness that I don’t mind.  She isn’t laid back at all, at least not in comparison to the children I have met that are near or at the same age as her.

Every day she wakes up with a big smile for me, and she can’t wait to be unswaddled so she can do one of her long, back-arching stretches.  I’d keep her unswaddled but she just can’t sleep without it, she ends up wiggling around and keeping herself awake.  A typical day includes waking up around 5 a.m. for her breakfast, then going straight back to bed for another hour or two if I’m lucky.  Ideally she wakes up after I get done making breakfast for Gus, and then he is able to see her before he leaves for work, but sometimes she wakes up early and that is always troublesome because once she’s up, she doesn’t like staying in her bed.  Sometimes I put her in the swing while I cook breakfast.  She doesn’t like being confined into carseat-styled devices, but she will stay in there longer now that she has discovered the toys hanging from the top of the swing’s arch.

Her next activity is usually feeding, getting her diaper changed, applying cream to her dry skin, changing her outfit and then if she’s still good, we’ll either listen to music, or do some leg bicycles to Mariachi Loco or El Baile Del Mono.  I’ve always liked these songs because they are cheerful and now she recognizes them as time to have some fun!

After that, another nap, then feeding, and depending on her mood, I’ll give to the in-laws, or if I’m in Sunnyside, we’ll play with her toys, go for a walk and look at colorful things.  We basically repeat  feeding-diaper-activity-nap over and over again.

At this point she is learning to see stuff hanging above her, and she can whack at them on accident.  She is also drooling a lot and nomming on her hand.  Tummy-time is limited, she hates it now, but she has excellent head control, I can hold her in my lap and she’s only a little bit wobbly.  She is nervous about rolling over even though she tries to do it when she’s propped up on her tummy.  She will cry and fuss until I roll her her over.  She’s being a little nervous about strangers, and even gets a little fussy if someone other than me carries her for longer than a few minutes.  However, she does recognize her daddy, her grandparents, my brother and my niece.  She really likes my niece too, must be her experience with her own siblings.

Sleep is a premium, and I’m learning to value it.  I’m trying really hard to get more sleep instead of staying awake, which has been my habit for the past 2 months.  I stopped doing it though because Gus said I was getting forgetful and really impatient, not to mention that I felt like I wasn’t giving Selina my best, and in the end, getting laundry done is nice, but not as important as being a good wife and mother to my family.